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Are You A Criticizer?

Thursday, June 1, 2017 by Ron Carlson

Brother in Christ,

Are you a criticizer?

I was sitting around with some fellow soccer players the other night and started paying attention to the ratio of positive versus negative comments about other people. It didn’t seem to matter whose name came up, the words said about them were easily 90 percent critical. It made me wonder, what’s my ratio of positive to negative statements about others. Do I tend to focus on other people’s positive attributes or their shortcomings? And if I focus on their shortcomings, do I justify it by thinking, I’m just being a truthful observer?

"Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God's law." (James 4:11)

Being critical not only displeases God, it can be harmful to those around us.

Then let us no more criticize and blame and pass judgment on one another, but rather decide and endeavor never to put a stumbling block or an obstacle or a hindrance in the way of a brother.” (Romans 14:13 The Amplified Bible)

Plus, being critical is harmful to us as well. Psychiatrist Dr. David Harold Fink, wrote a book called Release from Nervous Tension. Dr. Fink studied more than 10-thousand cases of mental and emotional disturbances. His research showed habitual fault-finders are likely to suffer severe tension, nervousness and mental unbalance. So, in the way God has designed us, if we want to be emotionally and mentally healthy we need to stop being negative and critical. It’s part of doing the right thing.

"The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil." (1 Peter 3:12)

It’s easy to be critical. The faults of others can be very obvious to us. But the calling from our loving God is to be encouragers not fault finders.

“The Bible says that the reason that we are to come together as a church is, not to criticize, but to 'exhort' (encourage) one another (Hebrews 10:25). 'Cursing the darkness' won’t change anything, but we must light a candle and 'expose the light' of God’s Word. By sharing the truth of God’s Word, and encouraging people to live in its truth, people will change. Love and encouragement is a 'motivational force'.” (Do you have a Critical Spirit by Dale A. Robbins)

For the good of others, for the good of the church, and for our own good, let’s be more aware of our thoughts and words about others. Let’s leave judgment up to God and be men of mercy. Because…

"mercy triumphs over judgment" (James 2:13)

So, will you and I allow the Lord to renew our minds in this area of our lives? Will we choose to be more merciful than judgmental? How we respond from now on…is critical.

Ron

Is Your Marriage Perfect?

Thursday, June 22, 2017 by Ron Carlson


The struggle is a common one. A spouse sees the shortcomings, personality flaws, and unmet expectations in their mate and decides this can’t be the person God intended for them. So, they decide to hunt for a perfect match. A friend did just that, but after being remarried said, “All I did was trade one set of problems for another.” Even those of us who have a godly loving spouse will tell you since two imperfect people that are involved, there’s no such thing as a perfect match. So, where’s the encouraging, inspirational, and uplifting message in all this? For starters, Jesus will reward the ones who love, even when they aren’t loved back in a way they’d like.

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Do You Know Where You Belong?

Thursday, June 15, 2017 by Ron Carlson

There’s been a lot of news coverage and controversy over who should be allowed to stay in this country. With this turmoil has come fear and confusion. Those who don’t possess the proper proof of citizenship can be told they don’t belong and quickly sent away. Even though we may be legal citizens of this country, as followers of Jesus we, also, can feel we don’t belong. Maybe that's how we should feel.

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Have You Ever Been Unreachable?

Thursday, June 8, 2017 by Ron Carlson

My cell phone went dead this morning. As I was texting someone my screen just went black. I pressed buttons, plugged in the charger, pressed more buttons and finally realized I was just going to have to accept it. For now, I was unreachable. It was an uneasy feeling. What if someone needed to reach me? What if people were sending me texts and wondering why I wasn’t responding? I hustled off to my cell phone provider to get this fixed. But to add to my frustration, when I arrived at 9:00 am, the store was closed. It didn’t open until 10:00 am…HOW COULD THEY NOT OPEN UNTIL 10:00 am? While I waited impatiently for the open sign to turn on, the thought came to me…have I ever felt God was unreachable?

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Are You A Criticizer?

Thursday, June 1, 2017 by Ron Carlson

I was sitting around with some fellow soccer players the other night and started paying attention to the ratio of positive versus negative comments about other people. It didn’t seem to matter whose name came up, the words said about them were easily 90 percent critical. It made me wonder, what’s my ratio of positive to negative statements about others. Do I tend to focus on other people’s positive attributes or their shortcomings? And if I focus on their shortcomings, do I justify it by thinking, I’m just being a truthful observer?

Read More »

How Do You Define Courage?

Thursday, May 25, 2017 by Ron Carlson

Here’s a definition of the word…” the ability to do something that frightens one.”

We saw a prime example of courage at our recent men’s retreat. During one of our gatherings a man from our church told more than 180 guys about his decades long struggle with sexual addiction. He talked about how it started in middle school and continued to build to the point of damaging his self-worth and his relationship with his wife. He was fighting a private war, but he knew it wasn’t a secret to God.

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What Do You Think About Yourself?

Friday, May 12, 2017 by Ron Carlson

Chances are you don’t need critics to tell you, you don’t measure up. Certainly, others have some influence about your thoughts of self. In fact, your self-esteem may have suffered severely from verbal abuse by a person of influence in your life. For the most part though, our self-talk takes precedence as chief evaluator and that voice can be harsh. We need to be careful here because our living God says our thoughts about ourselves determine our feelings and those feelings end up determining how we act.

 

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What Type Of Man Are You Going To Be Today?

Thursday, May 4, 2017 by Ron Carlson

You and I are boys by birth, but we have to choose to become a man. Dr. Joe Martin believes we can choose one of five options.

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Are You A Thank You Type?

Thursday, April 27, 2017 by Ron Carlson

If your parents were like mine, you grew up learning the importance of saying thank you. With that as part of my upbringing though, I’ve noticed my reaction is on the judgmental side when my wife or I do something for someone and they say…absolutely nothing. Okay, it’s a prideful thing I know, but it still irritates me. Is it really that hard to say “thank you?”

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How Do You Treat A Person Experiencing Disability?

Thursday, April 20, 2017 by Ron Carlson

This week our staff attended a disability/inclusion training facilitated by two of our church members. One of them experiences blindness, the other is a mother of a child who experiences Down syndrome. They did a wonderful job explaining what it’s like to attend church. While these two are working through the challenges, they told us many others feel they can’t worship at church. These families experiencing disability either feel too embarrassed or unaccepted. It’s a sad but common reality. Yet these are people Jesus calls us to serve and love.

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Do You Pray All The Time?

Thursday, April 13, 2017 by Ron Carlson

“Pray without ceasing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17 NASB)

Over the years 1 Thessaonians 5:17 has been one of the most challenging verses in the Bible. I used to wonder how in the world such a thing was possible. In our busy culture, how can you and I really pray all the time.

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